I had long given up on love when I met Steve, my father’s old friend, at a family barbecue. Our relationship became serious incredibly quickly, and soon we were already planning our wedding. I thought I had finally found the man I had been waiting for my whole life.
Then, on our wedding night, I saw something that changed everything completely.
When I arrived at my parents’ house, I could already see from the street that the entire lawn was packed with cars.
— What the hell is this? — I muttered to myself as I turned off the engine.
I was already preparing myself for yet another family surprise.
I grabbed my bag, locked the car, and headed toward the house.
As soon as I stepped inside, the smell of grilled meat hit me, along with my father’s loud laughter.
I looked out into the backyard.
Of course.
Dad had thrown another spontaneous barbecue for the guys from the workshop.
— Amber! — he called cheerfully while flipping burgers in his old oil-stained apron. — Come have a drink! It’s just the guys from work!
I tried not to sigh.
— Looks more like the whole town is here — I muttered, kicking off my shoes.
Before I could properly blend into the familiar chaos, the doorbell rang.
Dad set down the spatula and wiped his hands on his apron.
— That must be Steve — he said under his breath. Then he looked at me. — You haven’t met him yet, have you?
I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO ANSWER, BECAUSE HE HAD ALREADY THROWN THE DOOR OPEN.
— Steve! — he boomed. — Come on in! Perfect timing! Oh, and let me introduce you to my daughter, Amber.
I looked up.
And my heart skipped a beat.
Steve was tall, a little stubbled, and ruggedly handsome. His hair was beginning to turn gray, and his gaze was both warm and deep.
When he smiled at me, a strange tingling ran through me.
— Nice to meet you, Amber — he said, holding out his hand.
His voice was calm and low.
I TOOK HIS HAND, AND SUDDENLY I BECAME AWARE OF HOW TIRED I MUST HAVE LOOKED AFTER THE LONG DRIVE.
— Nice to meet you too.
For the rest of the evening, I could not stop watching him.
Steve was the kind of person who made everyone around him feel safe. He listened more than he spoke, and when someone did speak, he truly paid attention.
Every time our eyes met, something shifted inside me.
It was ridiculous.
I had not thought about love in years.
Not after everything I had been through.
I HAD LONG SINCE GIVEN UP ON THE DREAM OF FINDING “THE ONE.” INSTEAD, I FOCUSED ON WORK AND MY FAMILY.
But around Steve, for the first time, I felt that maybe starting over was still possible.
At the end of the evening, I said goodbye to everyone and went to my car.
Of course, when I turned the key, the engine only coughed once, then died.
— Perfect — I sighed.
I was just thinking about going back inside to get my father when I heard a knock on my window.
Steve was standing there.
— Car trouble? — he asked with a smile.
— IT WON’T START — I ANSWERED TIREDLY. — I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL DAD…
— Don’t worry. I’ll take a look.
He rolled up his sleeves and got to work.
A few minutes later, the car came back to life.
I only realized I had been holding my breath when I finally let it out.
— There you go — he said, wiping his hands on a rag.
I smiled at him.
— Thank you, Steve. I guess I owe you one.
HE SHRUGGED.
— How about you take me to dinner? Then we’ll call it even.
For a moment, I froze.
Was that a date invitation?
Immediately, that old uncertain voice inside me spoke up, warning me why I should not let anyone close again.
But there was something in Steve’s eyes that made me want to say yes anyway.
— Yes… dinner sounds good.
And that was how everything began.
I HAD NO IDEA THEN THAT STEVE WOULD BECOME EXACTLY THE MAN I NEEDED TO HELP HEAL MY HEART.
And I also had no idea how deeply he would hurt me.
Six months later, I was standing in front of the mirror in my childhood bedroom wearing a wedding dress.
It almost felt unreal.
I was thirty-nine years old, and I had given up on fairy tales a long time ago.
And yet there I was, minutes away from becoming Steve’s wife.
The wedding was small and simple. Only our closest family members and friends came.
That was exactly how we wanted it.
WHEN I LOOKED INTO STEVE’S EYES AT THE ALTAR, A STRANGE CALM WASHED OVER ME.
For the first time in years, I did not doubt anything.
— I do — I whispered through tears.
— I do — Steve answered hoarsely.
And with that, we became husband and wife.
That night, after all the hugs, congratulations, and champagne were over, we were finally alone.
Steve’s house… now our house… was quiet.
I went into the bathroom to change into something more comfortable.
MY HEART FELT LIGHT.
Then I stepped back into the bedroom…
And froze completely.
Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to me.
And he was talking to someone.
Someone who was not there.
— I wanted you to see this, Stace — he said softly. — It was a perfect day… I only wish you could have been here.
My blood went cold.
— STEVE? — I WHISPERED UNCERTAINLY.
He slowly turned around.
Guilt flashed across his face.
— Amber, I…
I stepped closer.
— Who were you talking to?
He took a deep breath.
— Stacy. My daughter.
I ONLY STARED AT HIM.
I knew he had had a daughter.
I also knew she had died.
But this… this was something he had never talked about.
— She died in a car accident with her mother — he said in a hoarse voice. — But sometimes I still talk to her. I know it sounds strange, but… I feel like she is still here with me. Especially today. I wanted her to know about you. To see that I am happy.
I could not speak.
Steve’s grief was almost tangible.
And yet I was not afraid.
I WAS NOT ANGRY WITH HIM.
I only felt endlessly sorry.
Sorry for everything he had lost.
And sorry that he had carried all of it alone for so long.
I sat down beside him and took his hand.
— I understand — I said softly. — You are not crazy, Steve. You are grieving.
He let out a trembling breath.
— I should have told you sooner. I was just afraid I would scare you away.
— YOU WON’T SCARE ME AWAY — I ANSWERED, SQUEEZING HIS HAND. — WE ALL HAVE WOUNDS. FROM NOW ON, WE CARRY THEM TOGETHER.
Tears gathered in Steve’s eyes.
I pulled him into my arms.
I could feel his pain, his love, and his fear all at once.
— Maybe we could talk to someone about this — I whispered. — A therapist. You don’t have to carry it alone anymore.
Steve nodded with his face buried against my shoulder.
— I’ve thought about it. I just didn’t know how to begin. Thank you for understanding, Amber.
I pulled back so I could look into his eyes.
— WE WILL FIGURE IT OUT TOGETHER.
And when I kissed him, I knew we truly would.
Because love is not about finding a flawless person.
It is about finding someone whose scars you are willing to carry together.
